…and a Promise is sealed

Dearest Friends,

She trapped me; caught me on the back foot. I feel my mobility freeze with sickening speed.

I find myself cornered. From the corner of my darting eye, I gather, there is ample space to escape. Yet I stand here… right in front of her.

Her gaze…it just doesn’t pierce, it haunts! It gives me the chills within seconds of holding the photograph. The goose bumps stir something within.

Questions simmer in those glassy and deep eyes.

“What have you done with your life so far?” she scrutinises me.

Wait, do I catch a hint of a smirk there? Or, maybe, she has disguised it under her strict demeanour.

Do her innocent eyes also carry the heavy weight of regrets? Regrets…worse than the cost of passed time. She seems to be sending out a secret plea, “Watch yourself…I’m telling you!”

Warmth floods my face. My ears give away my embarrassment. My life rushes like a blur in my head; I spot incidences when I didn’t chase my passions. Guilt fills my eyes. Her eyes reflect something.

Though her empathetic smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes, her encouragement reaches me. I know she understands and she urges me to move on… with my head held high!

The empathy fades away instantly. She drills in me, “Don’t be too easy on yourself.”

I nod frantically in agreement.

She breathes fire, “Fight your battles…always!” Our eyes lock for eternity; the surroundings disappear. A shiver passes up my spine.

She commands me, “Look at me. Now, go and do something better with your life”. The unmoving picture declares it as an emergency…I am moved.

And… a promise is sealed!

By,

Juhi Kothari

MEANINGLESS GOALS

Dearest Friends,

A farmer had a dog who used to sit by the roadside waiting for vehicles to come around. As soon as one came, he would run down the road, barking and trying to overtake it.

One day, in good humour, a neighbour asked the farmer, “Do you think your dog is ever going to catch a car?”

The farmer replied, “That is not what bothers me. What bothers me is what he would do if he ever caught one.”

When I read this story, I first laughed out loud. I too had experienced dogs chasing the car I was sitting in. I could clearly visualise the scenario described above. Then, the wisdom of the farmers statement struck me.

That dog was pursuing meaningless goals.

The same evening, I took stock of the goals I had. I was a little scared. ‘What if the goals I have are meaningless goals?’

To my dismay I had so many meaningless goals. I was aghast and a tad ashamed too. Fortunately, with a simple question to myself I dropped all these goals. Here are a few of them as I remember…

I want that award. What then?

I should be famous. What then?

I want that luxury car. What then?

I should have a bigger house. What then?

I want to see India win the world cup. What then?

I want that unshaven look that is a rage today. What then?

I should be interviewed by a national newspaper. What then?

I should be an invitee in the most happening parties. What then?

My phone is working fine yet I want that fancy new phone. What then?

In any social gathering, people should recognize my presence. What then?

Even today, conspicuously, meaningless goals, enter in my head. I just smile at them and ask the same question, “What then?” and save myself.

With love, prayers and exceptional wishes,

naren

Imagine, when we wake up, we are given only what we had thanked for.

www.lifeschool.co.in

How to handle difference of opinion?

Dearest Friends,

Nobody — including ME — likes to feel judged.

The number one strategy I have is to listen practicing “non-judgmental validation”.

I seek thoughts and opinions from people without judging them. People DISLIKE being judged in any opinion they have or in any action they take.

It doesn’t mean I agree with everyone and have no ‘locus standii’.

So what do I do when people start spouting crazy opinions and have completely misunderstood a scenario?

As soon as I hear something that I don’t necessarily agree with, instead of judging, my first reaction is, “Oh, that’s interesting! I never thought about it that way. I ask them to help me understand, how did they come up with that?”

Now, I am not judging. I am showing a willingness to understand. I am practicing EMPATHY’. More importantly, I am allowing people to calmly continue talking about their favorite subject: their beliefs.

Studies show people get more pleasure from talking about their beliefs than they get from good food or more money. Isn’t that an interesting thought !!!

How do YOU handle a difference of opinion? Do you have an approach that works out well? Would you mind sharing it with me?

With love, prayers and exceptional wishes,

naren

Imagine, when we wake up, we are given only what we had thanked for.

www.lifeschool.co.in

Removing things from the bag…

Dearest Friends,

“A warrior begins to take responsibility for the direction of their life”.

In this journey, a teacher / mentor, encourages us to open the bags and look closely at what we are carrying.

We begin to understand that much of it isn’t needed anymore.

We begin to understand we are unnecessarily lugging things around and slowing ourselves down.

We begin to understand we are making things difficult for ourselves and tiring ourselves out.

We begin to understand somewhere down the road, we would have lost quite a lot, had we not peeked into our bags.

We begin to understand if not for the teacher / mentor, we would have never looked inside.

We begin to ask ourselves, why we did not heed the teacher earlier?

When did you last listen to a teacher / mentor?
When did you last peek inside the bags you are carrying?
When did you last remove the unnecessary things?

Why don’t you do that right now? Open your bags you are carrying and remove ONE THING that isn’t needed anymore.

Do let me know, what you removed. Sharing makes it even better!

With love, prayers and exceptional wishes,

naren

Imagine, when we wake up, we are given only what we had thanked for.

www.lifeschool.co.in

‘Go on. Create a LEGEND’

Dearest Friends,

The opening statement by Charles Dickens in his all time classic ‘A Tale Of Two Cities’ is, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”

As a child when I read this statement, I saw Charles Dickens as a confused man. 😉 And of course, I saw myself as the wise man.

As I grew, I realised it was I who was confused. It was HE who was wise.

I realised, the very challenges inherent in life, make it possible to thrive. Without challenges, there would be nothing to overcome. I concluded, we can’t possibly have “the best” of times without having “the worst” of times.

Without a Gabbar, Jai and Veeru are not possible.
Without a Mogambo, Mr India is no fun.
Without the Joker, Batman is boring.

To know sweetness, I must also know bitterness. To know and appreciate health, I must be acquainted with sickness. To know happiness, I must have ‘felt’ sadness. Without knowing darkness, there could be no understanding of light.

The more extreme the difficulty, the more extreme the growth possibilities.

There’s never been a more competitive, changing and challenging time to live. Thus, there’s never been greater opportunities for success, impact, and fulfilment in the history of the world.

If you believe, you have a challenging life, first of all, pat yourself on your back. Say congrats to yourself. Now, go ahead and choose. Choose what will unleash the sleeping giant of greatness inside you.

Good timber does not grow with ease. Great lives don’t happen without boldness. Legends are never born. They get created by overcoming obstacles.Create a legend out of you.

With love, best wishes and prayers,

naren

Come on, let’s start talking again.

Dearest Friends,

People need people to talk to; they need people they can open their hearts to;people need people to hold hands and feel strong; they need people who can hold them and let them cry.

I am not talking about a romanticized partner or a bollywoodised friend. I am not even talking about families or counsellors. I am just talking about people. Just anyone.

We really do not realize how badly people need a release. I work with people and I work on myself. And I know how important conversations are.

We, as a society, really have no idea how suffocated people are in their emotions. Most people have nobody to express themselves entirely to. Everyone is holding back their vulnerabilities to maintain the social image of a confident and happy person.

Heart-to-heart conversations have become rare, artificial and shallow. And most hearts are filled with empty defences.

Most people can’t even talk to their life-partners openly for the fear of being judged or rejected. Emotions await just a release. Social images make sure weakness is not glorified.

Children have bottled up stress. Young people suffer anxiety and depression.

It is just lack of social support. It is lack of non-judgmental friendships. It is result of fast and busy lives where nobody has time to just sit and watch someone cry. It is result of instant and impatient lifestyle practices, that emotions have started feeling like waste of time.

We have whatsapp and facetime and social media – and we have stress and anxiety and depression.

Our forefathers had neither. Because they talked to each other. Because talking helps.

The face-to-face type talking,

the just-listen-to-me type talking,

the hold-my-hand-and-let-me-cry type talking,

the sit-next-to-me-and-listen-to-my-silence type talking…

the talking where the person can be themselves and say anything they feel without the fear of any judgement or loss or rejection.

Today we don’t like that type of talking. Those conversations when someone begins to undress one’s mind, feel awkward. We don’t ever want them. In fact we avoid them. And so, mental illness is epidemic. Naturally.

There is not much we can do. But we can offer a listening. We can be the people someone can just come over and talk to. We can be the people someone can just cry in front of. We can help people free themselves from the prison of their own minds.

Let’s be the go-to person for someone. Let’s learn to be friends with the friendless. Let’s let people talk without any fear. Let’s create conversations.

Come on, let’s start talking again.

Loads of Love,
Valentine Shipley

When am I a Failure?

Dearest Friends,

Very simply put, Success = Gains – Loss

In any situation where I gain more than I lose, I see myself as successful.

I trusted someone with money. The money was not returned. If the lesson that I gained is worth more than the money I lost, then, this experience is a success in my life. If I am blaming that person or I carry hurt against that person or cry about my luck, then I would have learned nothing positive from that experience. In that case what I have is indeed a failure.

In another case…

I have made loads of money. In the process, I did not take care of my family. Today I have a detached relationship with them. We are not properly involved in each other’s life.

I could not take care of my health too. Today I am dependent on medicines. Here, the gains I made were monetary. The losses I made were in terms of health, relationships, and having a life, of regrets.

The world may see me as a success. One day I will recognize the losses were far greater than the gains. I am actually a failure.

Some people turn every experience, favorable or unfavorable, into milestones of success. They live and die as successful people.

May you too live and die as a very successful person.

Remember Success = Gains – Loss

With love, best wishes and prayers,

naren

What do you play? Offence or Defence?

Dearest Darling Friends,

Here are my thoughts…
‘straight from my gut’

What is DEFENCE play?

1. Resisting change

2. Maintaining status quo

3. Choosing to settle for less

4. Lowering expectations from yourself

5. Complaining a lot

6. Feeling helpless

7. Praying someone helps you

8. Being a spectator

9. Being hyper cautious

10. Living a sad or fear-tinged life

What is OFFENCE play?

1. Choosing to come out strong

2. Choosing to be relentless

3. Choosing to consistently gain ground. Choosing to consistently advance

4. Creating conditions for change

5. Building momentum

6. Being pro-active

7. Learning fast

Is defence ALWAYS WRONG? Not at all. There are times when defence is the right strategy. But, not at the BEGINNING of the year.

Relentless offensive is my recommendation to start fast and stay focussed in 2017.

If you agree with me, then keep reading.

Now, do one thing. Go to a MIRROR.

Look at the person looking at you and say, “I have had enough of playing silly losing games with opportunities. I have had enough of settling for crumbs. I have had enough of standing by sidelines, watching people less talented less brighter than me, walk away with glories. It’s time to wake up and take massive action.”

Yes massive action. If the goal is to be debt free, why do it slowly?

If the goal is to be fit, why do it slowly?
If the goal is to be number one in my area of interest, why do it slowly?
If the goal is to be number one in sales, why do it slowly?

After all, any goal will expand to the time we have set for it.

In 2017, I have decided to play RELENTLESS OFFENCE. What do you say my darling?

With love, prayers and best wishes,

your naren

Help People Rise

Dearest Darling Friends,

I want to thank you for the support and belief you have shown in us this year. It means the world. *ThankQ*

I am extraordinarily privileged to be able to write every single week and share with you. I know that it’s something to appreciate and cherish. *ThankQ*

Personally, it’s been a different and difficult year. I have seen hearts break over and over again. I have watched friends and people I love, struggle to understand a great many things.

There has also been some fantastic developments :

1) Some exceptional talent joined the family of *Life School*.

2) Some exceptional people became *Life Schoolers*. They are scientists, teachers, mothers, CAs, Lawyers, Entrepreneurs, IT professionals and even expert sports people.

3) wowparenting.com is almost ready. This site will positively impact millions of families. Do have a look and let me know your thoughts.

4) An app for youth ‘ROAR’ has seen brilliant work. It’s a game changer. Should see a launch around June.

5) A brand new, never before kind of an initiative has just been launched called ‘PRIDE’. It’s another game changer. Have a look at it too www.lifeschool.co.in/pride

We are looking forward to 2017 with a lot of excitement.

We see the world challenging us to work hard, to think bigger, and to make greater difference. We see it as an opportunity for us to become better and to *help people rise*.

We don’t know what 2017 will bring. More heart breaks? More celebrations? New beginnings?

Maybe the world will become better, maybe worse.

What I do know is that there are people out there who are going to be doing everything in their power to make a difference. Courageous people. Beautiful people. Hopeful people, defiant people. People who are too stubborn to give in or quit.

Your *Life School* is going to be one of them. Your naren is going to be one of them. *I trust you too will be one of them.*

If these posts have been adding *value* to your life, just hit the reply button and reply *Keep Rocking*. That will be all the strength we need to power ahead.

May 2017 be the best year EVER. You my friend, “KEEP ROCKING”.

With love, prayers and best wishes,

your naren

Who do you think will make a mark?

Dearest Darling Friends,

“All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being not just with my hands but with my heart.”
― Tahereh Mafi, Shatter me.

I remembered these words when I saw two parents with their kids, outside their school, shuffling slightly as people do as they wait for their respective cars.

From the body language of both the children, it was evident they had NOT done well.

Their shoulders were sagging. Their eyes were furtively glancing here and there.

Their body movements was laboured and slow.

Their heads were bent down.

In a voice filled with hurt and intending to shame, one mother looked down on her child and said, “Look at that sweeper. If you don’t study well, you will be like him. Do you want that?”

The child looked crushed.

The other mother, was caressing the unruly hair of her child. The child looked down cast. His eyes were brimming with tears that were in the danger of falling off. His will power seemed to be holding them back.

In a voice filled with love and adulation, his mother said, “My son, do you see the sweeper there? Study well so that you can help him to make his life better.”

And she looked up. She wasn’t even looking at me yet, I could feel the warmth of her soul reaching out and touching me.

I had just witnessed two contrasting approach, not only to parenting, but to life itself.

Both the mothers had perfect intention. Yet, who do you think will make a mark?

With love, prayers and exceptional wishes,

naren

Imagine, when we wake up, we are given only what we had thanked for.

www.lifeschool.co.in

I am going to Hang on !

Dearest Darling Friend,

Chances are you haven't heard of Nicolo Paganini. He was a well-known and gifted nineteenth-century violinist. He was also well known as a great showman with a quick sense of humor. He would make the audience laugh and loved to regale them with his antics.

There are many memorable stories about his wit and crafty tongue. However, there is one incident from his life that made him have more admirers than any other incident.

It happened during a concert in Italy. He was performing before a packed house. His technique was incredible. His tone was fantastic; his audience clearly and dearly loved him. 

Towards the end of his concert, Paganini was astounding his audience with an unbelievable composition when suddenly one string on his violin snapped and hung limply from his instrument. A few in the front rows gasped. Paganini frowned for a micro second, shook his head, and continued to play, improvising beautifully.

To everyone's horror, immediately afterward, a second string broke. This time, Paganini did not even take a micro-second. He continued to play as if nothing had happened. Shortly thereafter, the third string too broke. 

Oh my god! The audience clearly was devastated by what was happening. But, Paganini was unmoved. When the third string broke, he kind of 'smiled'. It was as if, he was talking to the creator and saying, "Aha! You are testing me. Go ahead. I am going to hang on. I won't give up" 

Paganini stood there with three strings dangling from his Stradivarius. But instead of leaving the stage, Paganini stood his ground and calmly completed the difficult number on the one remaining string.

He got a standing ovation. Many in the audience had tears in their eyes. Some said that evening changed their life. A few expressed, they were praying the fourth one should NOT break!

Can you imagine the evening? Can you imagine and feel the goose bumps? Can you imagine the electricity in the air? Can you imagine the mental state of Paganini? Can you imagine what that evening would have done to him?

Can you imagine yourself in the place of Paganini? What would you have done? Having read about this incident from his life, what would you do in life, in future when you face something disastrous? 

If I have to face something similar, I pray, I display the same strength and serenity Paganini displayed. I pray the same for you too.

With love, prayers and exceptional wishes,

naren

Imagine, when we wake up, we are given only what we had thanked for.

www.lifeschool.co.in